When and How to Say No to Food Requests

When and How to Say No to Food Requests

It has been said that we make over 200 decisions a day about food and the answer can’t always be ‘yes’. As parents we set boundaries to help children feel and be safe. Sticking to them can feel tricky in the moment (especially if tantrums result).

As the parent/carer you decide whether or not your child is offered the food they’ve asked for. Read more about How to Feed Children

Here are our top tips on how to say ‘no’ to your child about food and reduce food nagging

  1. Get curious about why they are asking for that particular food. Have they seen it in the kitchen or seen someone else eating it? This may help you explain why you are not offering that food now. For example, “We’re not going to have the cake because we’re waiting until our friends come over. We’ll share it with them for afternoon tea”.
  2. Set up a regular routine of sit-down meal and snacks. This way your child knows when the next meal or snack is likely to be. For example, you could say “We’ve already had breakfast. We’ll have morning tea together after we go to the library.” If your child seems to be constantly hungry around the same time, think about shifting eating times around. Read more about mealtime routine
  3. Try to involve children in their food choices, without giving into immediate requests or letting them choose the menu. For example you could say “We’re not going to have that for dinner tonight, but you can vote to put it on the menu for another day.” or "We’re not going to have custard today, but we are going to have some cut up fruit. Would you prefer an apple or a banana?” Offer options that you're comfortable for them to say ‘yes’ to.
  4. Think of morning and afternoon tea as a 'mini meal' rather than a snack. Offer a variety of foods that are nourishing and satisfying. Trust your child knows when they’re full. Read more about building body trust 
  5. Tell them what the plans are. If you’re going somewhere for a short time and you don’t plan on eating while you’re out, let your child know before you go. You don’t need to take snacks or buy food everywhere you go.
  6. Try to be consistent. Children will learn to accept ‘no’ with less fuss as they get older. It’s OK to let your child know you won’t answer if they ask for food with a tantrum, or even with a demanding or whiny voice.
  7. Keep it positive. Don’t blame or shame them for making particular food requests. It’s all part of learning about food and eating. Sometimes it's just curiosity.

Remember, setting boundaries around food isn’t about restriction or control. When children are taught to respect boundaries, it can help them show respect for food and their body. Being able to say no to children lets you be in charge when you say ‘yes’.